Dating Advice: From First Message to Second Date

Online dating gets easier once you know what usually works. These guides answer the questions people ask most: what to put on a profile, how to start a conversation, where to go on a first date, who pays, and how to handle the moments that feel awkward. Each one is short enough to read on the bus. Start with the one you need today.

Before you meet

A good profile and a friendly first message do most of the work. Get these two right and the rest follows.

• Dating profile tips

  The photos to choose, what to write about yourself and five things to leave off your profile.

• First message tips

  How to start a conversation that gets a reply, what to avoid and how to keep your cool while you wait.

The first date

Where to go, what to talk about and who reaches for the bill.

• First date tips

  Settling nerves, what to wear, things to talk about and what to do when the conversation goes quiet.

• Cheap date ideas

  Walks, markets, galleries, quizzes and cosy nights in: good dates that cost very little.

• Who pays on a first date?

  Splitting, taking turns or treating: how to handle the bill gracefully.

After the first date

Knowing when to say yes to a second date, when to say no, and how to do both kindly.

• Dating green flags

  The small, steady signs that someone is worth getting to know, and why different hobbies need not matter.

• How to say you are not interested

  Kind, clear wording for after a first date, and how to bounce back from a bad one.

• Gift ideas for someone new

  What to give, and what to skip, a few dates or a few months in.

Starting again

For anyone coming back to dating after a relationship has ended.

• Dating after a break-up

  How to tell when you are ready, looking after yourself first and taking it at your own pace.

Safety comes first

Every guide here assumes the basics: keep conversations on the site until you trust someone, have a video call before you meet, meet somewhere public and get yourself there and home. Never send money to anyone you have not met. Our safety page explains the protection built into every profile, and how Dating Today works covers the rest.

Common questions

I am new to online dating. Where should I start?

Start with your profile. A clear, recent photo and a few honest lines about you make every other step easier. Then read our first message tips.

How soon should we meet in person?

When you both feel ready. A short video call beforehand helps you both relax, and you will know whether the conversation flows before you give up an evening to it.

How do I stay safe when dating online?

Keep chatting on the site until you trust someone, meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you are going and never send money. Our safety page has more.