Dating Profile Tips: What to Put In and What to Leave Out

A dating profile is not a CV and it is not a confession. It is a friendly hello that gives the right people a reason to write to you. Most of what makes one work is simple: clear photos, a few specific details and an honest line about what you are hoping to find. None of it needs to be clever.

Choose photos that look like you

Photos are the first thing anyone sees, so give them your best five minutes.

• Lead with your face. A recent photo, on your own, in daylight, with no sunglasses or hat. Smiling helps more than any angle.
• Add two or three that show your life. A walk you love, a hobby, a favourite place. Each one is a conversation waiting to happen.
• Go easy on filters. The person who meets you should recognise you straight away. A photo that flatters too much only sets up a disappointing first five minutes.
• Keep group shots further down, and make sure it is obvious which one is you.
• Use your own photos only. It is one of the house rules, and it is only fair.

Write an "about me" that starts conversations

The best profiles read like the person talking, not like a form they filled in.

• Be specific. "I am trying to swim in every lido within a day's drive" says far more than "I like swimming".
• Keep it positive. Write about what you enjoy, not what you cannot stand.
• Use sentences, not a list. Three short paragraphs beat a column of likes and dislikes.
• Leave a hook. Mention something people can ask about: a trip you are planning, a recipe you are perfecting, the book on your bedside table.
• Read it back once, or ask a friend to. Nobody minds a typo, but a quick check shows you care.

If you are stuck, try finishing these three lines in your own words: "On a free Saturday you will find me...", "I am happiest when..." and "I would love to meet someone who...". Then tidy them into a paragraph.

Say what you are looking for

Friendship first, dating with no rush or a relationship that lasts: say it plainly. It saves everyone time, and it helps Dating Today's daily suggestions, which take into account the kind of relationship you want, along with interests, lifestyle and values. You can change it later if your plans change.

Five things to leave off your profile

1. Your whole life story. Leave something for the first date. The best conversations start with "tell me more".
2. Your ex. Even a passing mention reads as unfinished business. Your profile is about now.
3. Anything explicit. Keep words and photos suitable for anyone to see. Flirting can wait until you know each other.
4. A list of demands. Long lists of must-haves and lines like "no time-wasters" put off exactly the kind people you would like to meet.
5. Details that identify you. Your surname, workplace, home address or phone number. Other members see your nearest town, never your address, and that is how it should stay until you trust someone.

Small things that make a big difference

Add the photo-ID badge. The ID check is optional and free, and the badge on your profile tells people you are real. Pick a username that is not your full name. Your real name and email address are never shown publicly. Freshen things up now and then. A new photo or a new line gives people a reason to look again.

When your profile is ready, the next step is saying hello. Our first message tips cover what to write.

More dating advice

• First message tips

  Openers that get replies, and what to skip.

• First date tips

  Nerves, outfits, conversation and awkward pauses.

• Dating green flags

  The small signs that someone is worth your time.

Common questions

How many photos should I put on my dating profile?

Three to five is plenty: a clear photo of your face first, then a few that show what you enjoy.

How long should a dating profile be?

Long enough to give someone two or three things to ask about. A few short paragraphs is usually right.

Should I say what I am looking for?

Yes. Being clear saves time, and the daily suggestions use it to find people who want the same thing.